


A Question of Worth

by the_ink_stained_knight



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath, Am I Unworthy?, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Flashbacks, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mass Death, New York City, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Redemption, Regret, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 10:07:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16156871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_ink_stained_knight/pseuds/the_ink_stained_knight
Summary: In the days after Thanos' snap, Thor finds himself uncertain.





	A Question of Worth

**Author's Note:**

> Edited by Raving_Liberal

Thor Odinson woke with a start, his dreams filled with sorrow and fear. So many of his friends gone in the snap of the fingers of a mad god. So many were gone, and despite his best efforts, he couldn’t do anything about it.

Untangling himself from his sheets, he rose from the bed Wong had allowed him to sleep in while still on Midgard. The New York Sanctum, at 177A Bleecker Street in Manhattan, was an interesting place, and the primary home for the last Sorcerer Supreme until he had been kidnaped by one of Thanos’ minions and taken to Odin knows where. Wong’s divinations didn’t find anything, not him alive anywhere in the universe, but also not in any of the realms of the dead.

No one else was there when it happened, no one stood within earshot of him and Thanos at the moment of his failing. He forgot himself, in that moment, elated by his new found power and newly forged weapon, forgot the humility his Allfather taught him. He let his pride and wrath overtake him.

_“I told you, you’d die for that.”_

_“You should have gone for the head.”_

He had the power to defeat Thanos, even with the Mind Stone, even with a completed Gauntlet, Stormbreaker was more powerful, and if Thor had gone for a killing blow outright, he would have prevented the deaths of half of the people in the universe. That’s on him.

When Thanos left Midgard with the broken remains of his Gauntlet, Stormbreaker fell to the Wakandan soil, where it still remained. Thor hadn’t bothered to pick it up, after seeing what he had done. He wasn’t sure if he could heft its weight. He didn’t want to find out either way. He traveled with what was left of the Avengers back to New York, then walked from their headquarters to the city, looking for the Sorcerer Supreme, finding his assistant instead. Wong offered him a room while he waited. A part of Thor made him think it was equally because Wong wanted to keep the Asgardian in the sanctum rather than have him roaming Midgard as it was a sincere offer of hospitality. Regardless of the why, Thor welcomed the room.

In the kitchen was an ancient table, currently with only two chairs around it. When Thor first came with Loki, looking for Odin, there was four chairs around it. However many people were in the house, that was how many chairs were around the Feast Table. On the table lay a suckling pig, roasted mutton, and a small keg of mead. The meal was different every day, but the Table was never empty. Thor sat and ate, drinking the whole keg, but never feeling the alcohol. While the flavor was right, human made, or at least in this case conjured, mead wouldn’t have the proof to effect a god.

It had been a fortnight since the battle of Wakanda, and every day since he arrived at the Sanctuary Thor stood on the balcony, overlooking the streets of New York. He remembered when this city was truly new, when it was just taken by the British, and when it was New Amsterdam before that. He remembered both Amsterdam and York when they were young as well. Those cities were decimated by Thanos’ evil as well. He considers acting, but then he remembers how he failed not only Midgard, but all of creation. He had considered himself a friend of Midgard for thousands of their years, more directly of late. He stood there for hours, considering, remembering. If he acted now, who knows how else he could fail?

The sky was overcast this day, but according to the news he heard Wong watching in a passing room, it was not meant to rain for another day or two. He stood on the balcony, watching as taxis and buses moved along. Even with half of the population gone, the streets of Manhattan was nevertheless crowded with the hustle and bustle of the city. Someone needs to be there for these people, for when the tyrants and conquerors came. Someone, but was he worthy to be that for humanity?

_“You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!” Odin shouted at him._

_“And you are an old man and a fool!” Thor retorted._

_Odin looked down, quietly whispering, almost to himself, “Yes, I was a fool... to think you were ready.”_

Fourteen times he had asked himself that question, and fourteen times he found himself too much the coward to find out. No more, and even if he were no longer worthy of Stormbreaker, he would nevertheless find a way to fight. He was, after all, the God of Thunder, not the God of Hammers.

Thor grimaced, shutting his eyes and put out his right hand and thought.

_Return to me._

He waited, seconds turned to minutes, which turned to an hour. He lowered his hand. It hadn’t come, he wasn’t worthy. Thor turned his back on the street, taking a step to go back into the Sanctuary, when he heard a whistling. He turned to his left just in time to see the double-headed axe flying towards him. The head got past him as he threw out his hands, grabbing the handle and getting pulled aloft.

He flew, for the first time in almost a month. Pulled behind Stormbreaker, Thor soared above the streets of Manhattan, and found himself beside the spire of the Chrysler building. It was here, not that long ago by his standards, that he called down power to defend the city against the first Chitauri invasion.

As he watched, the overcast light played on Stormbreaker’s edge. It was not supposed to rain that day, but thunder rumbled through the air over New York City nevertheless. There was work to be done.


End file.
